It’s just past 6pm here, and I’ve got the most terrible craving. My mind is full of doubts and I am desperate for a drink. I’m trying to separate the desire for alcohol from what else I’m feeling, to see if I can think my way out of it. Because I so don’t want to fail on day 5.
Tomorrow, I head to my new job, so I know I’m anxious and nervous about that. I also know that day 5 is pretty early on in this process, so I’m bound to feel angsty round the 6pm slot. The first few days’ (slight) novelty have definitely worn off, and I’m already feeling fed up. I emailed my husband earlier with a supposedly rational list of why it would be fine for me to drink next weekend, not drink in the week, look at how well I’m managing not to drink…that sort of thing, and his reply was: ‘You’re doing brill. Love you.’
He is a great man.
We were with some friends at the weekend, and we were talking about Dry January. I was explaining how difficult I found it not to drink, and one of our friends said, ‘But if you feel like drinking, just drink! What’s the big deal.’
I feel as though I’m constantly creating huge problems and crises out of nothing. Aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrggggggghhhhh!
Right, now I am going to open an alcohol free beer, and read the newspaper, and wait for my husband to get home before I prepare the supper, because I know that if I chop one onion in the next few minutes, I will place myself bang in the middle of the craving.
I think what I’m trying to say is: I’m finding this really hard. Help!