I am sorry I didn’t write yesterday. I was exhausted, and didn’t have any time or energy, but then in the night I worried that people might be worried about me, hence my brief post earlier today.
My first lesson went well – at least, I think so, though it is hard to tell, of course. But by the evening, I felt completely shattered. I had huge cravings, and was on the cusp of drinking about 1000 times. Those Friday nights are still a major challenge. At one point, I looked at my blog and read a comment from someone who wrote that weekends were tough, and she hoped we could muddle through together, and her words – and the other comments which I read and reread – gave me strength, and helped me to get through. I am often amazed by the power of the blogging world.
Day 9, and I am a bit disappointed that I don’t feel more upbeat; rather, I feel sluggish and very tired. And I am still spending so much time thinking about how not to drink. This evening, I will try and look after myself more – I actually hate writing that, which perhaps explains why I am so shattered, because I am not caring for myself. I hated writing that as well!