Thank you for all your comments in my last post. They are so helpful.
I am not finding it easy, and have rather crawled into Day 4. I know that opinion is divided about going to meetings, and the word ‘alcoholic’. I am so busy at work, and with my family; when I look up meeting times, they never seem to fit with my schedule. Then my mind races into: well, if I can’t get to meetings, then there’s no point in trying to get sober, so I may as well drink.
How far will I be able to do this on my own, with the help of my husband, people here, and my blog? If I can’t commit to the whole AA spirit, will it never work, or could I try and go to meetings when I can, and keep working on things here at home?
Certainly, I need to do something. When I was drinking in the past week, I realised latterly that I couldn’t remember whole conversations. My husband has looked increasingly puzzled when I’ve started talking to him about something, and he reminds me that I’ve already said exactly the same thing a few days before. So, it is clear to me that things have been getting worse, and that any thoughts of moderation or control are long gone as an option.
My mind still feels cloudy.