This morning, a sober friend texted me healing vibes ‘on this crisp March morning’. Thank you for your healing comments yesterday; they really do help me. The warmth of support boosts me, and helps keep me going through these early days. Last night, I felt no craving to drink, just a weariness that I was trying again and that I had failed so many times. But I poured the lemonade and drank it gratefully – I don’t remember alcohol ever quenching my thirst in that way. During the past week or so of my drinking, as I prepared to stop, I tried really to feel and taste the drink for what it was: often sour, bitter and just not at all delicious.
Another sober friend has advised me to stay in the moment, as I have been somewhat manic lately: regretting the past drinking patterns, and agonising over how it will all be in the future. A colleague at work said that he was looking forward to hearing me tell jokes after a few cocktails at a party in the summer, and I started worrying about it right then. No need. Today is what matters, getting through today without drinking, and feeling better for it.
Meanwhile, my husband is keen for me to do yoga. I have never tried it, and think I’ll find it too difficult to concentrate, that my mind will wander, let alone the physical difficulties (he described shaking in his first session). I don’t want to take on too much: what I’m doing at the moment is enough. Onwards with day 2.