I feel disgusting today. Last night, we went to a drinks thing for parents at school. All day I thought about it, and by early evening I couldn’t wait to get there. I drank several glasses of warm wine, fast, and talked rubbish. Back at home, I poured brandy into my tea and stayed up until 1 in the morning watching terrible television.
I am in serious trouble. I give up. I can’t do this anymore. Every illusion about my control over my drinking is crushed, gone. I feel lonely, sad and disgusting.