5.35 pm

I’m staring down the barrel of a horrible craving. The springy post I wrote this morning seems aeons away. How can I have been so upbeat then? I feel awful now.

I am not going to drink.

Soon, I will make supper. I wanted to do some work, but I can’t focus. There’s still some gin in the house – I know! Throw it out! – and I unscrewed it to smell it. That was at about midday.

I don’t want to undo my good five days. I don’t want to be this person who sniffs gin and paces the kitchen unable to focus.

27 thoughts on “5.35 pm”

  1. Oh, I’v e been there. Take a moment and really remember that awful feeling of self-loathing that comes after drinking. Think about the terrible feeling the next morning. Realize you don’t want that, don’t choose that.

    Then think about how good you felt just a short time ago. Realize you will feel that way again soon if you do something other than drink.

    Now change things up. Go out for a walk in the rain. Take a bath. Pick up a good book. Something, anything, other than drinking.

    You can do this.

  2. Annie just try not to drink for 10 minutes or I say to myself I can drink as much as I want tomorrow if I get through tonight. Once tomorrow comes and you wake up without hangover you won’t want to. Try an AF beer

  3. Annie, please don’t drink. I know you feel like you’re drowning in your cravings but it will recede. You know there’s more in wine than just the grapes ( sprayed with pesticides) and ethanol.. it could contain arsenic and other chemicals to enhance flavor, color etc… it’s more poisonous that we think. The wine industry is not required to disclose what they put in their wines on the labels and I don’t think they’re in a hurry to do so.
    Have a cup of herbal tea and listen to some beautiful classical music. Are you still in the orchestra?
    Jackie (wine bitch) recently posted some real effective, practical, simple tips to combat cravings on her blog.

    1. I’m going to check out those suggestions on Jackie’s blog. Yes, I’m still in the orchestra but not playing at the moment as life has been too busy. Starting again in May. In the past, rehearsal nights have been sacred drink-free nights, and I often try and think about why and how I’ve achieved that. Annie x

  4. Surf the urge Annie – you are doing great! It is an urge and just so suddenly it is going to pass – try whatever you need – deep breathing, a walk, meditation, a hot bath, just get through the urge – it is the FU*(*&)*ing monster trying to win.

  5. Pour out the gym. You are the person who cannot be comfortable with open alcohol in he house. Accept that.

    This is a real sign that you must make an effort. Maybe tonight is the night to orderer your kids pizza and find a meeting.

    Please see that the answer to cravings is not to drink. It’s just feeding the addiction.



  6. Hi there. I’m new to your blog. Thank you for sharing your journey. I’m enjoying your writings. The good and the bad, the ups and the downs. A lot of people only want to write about the ups, not the downs. It somehow helps me sometimes to hear that I’m not the only one struggling. It’s hard to quit. F-ing hard! But I’m convinced it’s possible. Keep writing. Keep striving. We can do this. 🙂

    1. Thanks for commenting. It is hard, isn’t it. There are a lot of ups and downs. My journey is a bit muddled, but I really want to crack this. Annie x

  7. Stay strong Annie. This will pass. If you drink, you will regret it and have another day 1, it could be weeks, months before you string 5 days again, you’re on a roll now, keep going, once you pass the hump you will be transformed, we all want to see that Annie. You can do this. Hugs Noddy.

  8. Don’t drink. Do things that help you to stay away from alcohol. Stay away from things that lead to drinking. Do this till you’re out of the woods…take care of yourself and the clarity and the reasons will come to you. Have faith that not drinking is the right decision.
    Wish you peace and strength.

  9. There’s no other way to do this except to get through it. It’s so hard. But if you persevere you will feel AMAZING tomorrow. Take it in 10 min intervals. Tell your husband. And what Anne said is probably the BEST advice– get to a meeting!

  10. Don’t drink Annie. You are doing so well. Tip the gin out, you can’t have it in the house. You can do this Annie. Am here for you. A x

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