Finding my way

THANK YOU for all your comments yesterday. I wish you could see me poring over my computer, reading and digesting your words. I even read some of them out to my husband. Ah! My husband! I am not sure whether or not he reads my blog – he may have done once or twice, but I don’t think he does on a daily basis. I think he thinks I’m a bit crazy about my blog. I told him what I’d written about his views on meetings; he expressed concern that I was entering a dark world, and that I didn’t ‘need it’, but I explained that I was seeking some real life help, some people who could relate to what I was trying to do, and that I needed that as well as my lifeline on the blog. The people who comment here are real to me, and I would love to meet you – maybe I will one day – but in the meantime, I need to connect with some people close to home as well. In yesterday’s meeting, there were 5 people who I recognised and knew from previous meetings, all of whom welcomed me cheerfully, didn’t probe into where I’d been in the interim; I felt at ease with them.  The ‘scarier’ people were new to AA (they were there as part of a detox programme), and that was what threw me a bit. Later, when I thought about it more calmly, I felt the meeting had done me a lot of good, and I will go back.

As to my husband, and his support of my sobriety: his refusal to let me drink yesterday was crucial, and though I know I mustn’t rely on that, it really did help. I gave him a hug from you, Hapless, as you requested, and he seemed very pleased.

So, here I am on Day 8, Saturday morning, and feeling quiet and glad, and grateful. Let’s see how today goes, and the Saturday evening possible blues, but I think Fridays are harder, so I’m glad to have got through that.