Finding my way

THANK YOU for all your comments yesterday. I wish you could see me poring over my computer, reading and digesting your words. I even read some of them out to my husband. Ah! My husband! I am not sure whether or not he reads my blog – he may have done once or twice, but I don’t think he does on a daily basis. I think he thinks I’m a bit crazy about my blog. I told him what I’d written about his views on meetings; he expressed concern that I was entering a dark world, and that I didn’t ‘need it’, but I explained that I was seeking some real life help, some people who could relate to what I was trying to do, and that I needed that as well as my lifeline on the blog. The people who comment here are real to me, and I would love to meet you – maybe I will one day – but in the meantime, I need to connect with some people close to home as well. In yesterday’s meeting, there were 5 people who I recognised and knew from previous meetings, all of whom welcomed me cheerfully, didn’t probe into where I’d been in the interim; I felt at ease with them. ย The ‘scarier’ people were new to AA (they were there as part of a detox programme), and that was what threw me a bit. Later, when I thought about it more calmly, I felt the meeting had done me a lot of good, and I will go back.

As to my husband, and his support of my sobriety: his refusal to let me drink yesterday was crucial, and though I know I mustn’t rely on that, it really did help. I gave him a hug from you, Hapless, as you requested, and he seemed very pleased.

So, here I am on Day 8, Saturday morning, and feeling quiet and glad, and grateful. Let’s see how today goes, and the Saturday evening possible blues, but I think Fridays are harder, so I’m glad to have got through that.

 

31 thoughts on “Finding my way”

  1. Oh Annie. I’m so excited for us both as we progress with our journey. Well done ๐Ÿ™‚
    Last night was the closest I felt to cravings but I got through and feel wonderful in this sunny morning. I wish I’d taken a photo of my blotchy, bloated face ten days ago, because today, I think I actually look quite healthy:)
    I think a lot of people think I exaggerate my problem with alcohol but the medical facts are there for all to see. Regularly consuming 35+ units a week is hazardous!happy sober weekend Annie x

  2. You have no idea how much you help me. I awoke this morning thinking that “maybe ” I would have a “drink or two” tonight as it’s my parents birthday dinner and I’m hosting. (Never mind my father is 45 years sober through AA). And I was thinking about skipping a meeting today…… NOT after reading this post!!! I also have the thoughts that Im really not so bad when at a meeting. So thank you for being here and being so honest.
    And Hapless, thank YOU for your reply yesterday. That also gave me a lot to think about!!!!

  3. Hi Annie. Congrats!! Keep up the hard work, you are doing great. I know it is hard because I am doing it too. I’ve posted here once in a while about my own struggles, and I finally decided to try an AA meeting. I avoided that route for years, but nothing else was working. I have a women’s meeting today, and I’ve made it 60 days. I don’t think it necessarily had to be AA, but what is helping this time is being around people who understand what I am going through and who have been there. So for now this is what I am doing. Have a great weekend!

  4. You’re doing brilliantly Annie, well done. Good for you going to a meeting – I’ve always been too chicken! Make sure you’ve got some distractions planned to get you through the late afternoon/early evening phase if or when these cravings hit. Xx

  5. Yay, Annie! Your success makes me want to be successful too, like I am not in this alone. I may even try a meeting next week. Like you, I woould love to meet up with some of my blogger friends. Email sometime about where you live. We are pretty close in sobriety dates. (10 days today!) mssoberblog@gmail.com

  6. I know it’s not necessarily mine to say, but Annie, I am so PROUD of you. Truly. You dug in and you did the work and you got through it. I am so happy for you, and so …. just joyful! Congratulations.*

  7. You are a hero and an inspiration Annie. One of the things you need to get through this is what the AAers call “rigorous honesty,” and you are going all in on that this go around it seems — with us, your husband, but most, most importantly, yourself. I think you are truly on your way!

  8. Ah, Annie, I see the real you shining in this post, I gotta go get my shades on! Let’s not talk about tonight yet, let’s just bask in this moment so we can remember it.

  9. This just sounds better and better! Pleased your husband is in on what’s going on more and more even if he doesn’t 100% understand. I always comfort myself with the fact I wouldn’t understand the steps necessary if I was an outsider, but that doesn’t stop them being 100% value to me as an insider.

    Plod plod plod on and soon it’ll be hop skip jump on ๐Ÿ™‚

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