Thank you to SoberMummy on Mummywasasecretdrinker who wrote a lovely post yesterday. It kept me going all day, and all evening, and now here I am on day 9! The sober universe is powerful, and I find the love and support here a huge huge help. Thank you, too, for all your comments here, and on SoberMummy’s blog.
The whole thing feels a bit surreal at the moment. Last night I wasn’t even tempted to drink. And it was Saturday night. I made a plan with my husband: mocktail at 6.30pm, supper, light the fire (still chilly here) and watch a Hitchcock film. I need things to look forward to, otherwise I fantasise about drinking. I guess I feel in limbo, poised on the edge of going back to work tomorrow, knowing that this will put a few challenges in my way.
Could this possibly work this time? Might I now really be a non-drinker? I’ve tried so many times. People say it will ‘click’, and I wonder how I’ll know when/if that happens.
A Dappled Path 
Well done! In my opinion day 10 is a turning point. The worst is over, in that you know you can do it, some habits are broken and new ones established. You will still be tired for at couple of weeks to come, but really, the worst is behind you.
Hi Annie, I have just found your blog through sobermummy’s blog and it has inspired me to try it myself. Well done on day 10, I am day 1 (again) and really hoping this blogging business might be the support I need.
M x
Sorry meant well done on day 9 x
I had a similar experience out at a restaurant last night, far from home, where I could have ordered a drink without anyone knowing about it. I didn’t, and I now have a day 11. You are right about the power of this online group — I thought about everyone facing the same thing and succeeding. Thank you for hanging in there. It made it easier for me to do the same.
HI Annie, well done you! I think it will click. It’s like being in any bad relationship that you want to get out of. You keep thinking about and trying to break up but can’t quite do it. Then all of a sudden you know you’re done. It’s over. That doesn’t mean it’s smooth sailing all the way or questions if you’ve made the right decision- but then when you start thinking about how miserable you were in the relationship and how crippling it was and that it only keeps leading to the same dead end you stay strong in your resolve.
Cheering you on!
Congrats, Annie!! I’ve never made it to Day 9, but reading your journey is so inspiring and encouraging that it can be done!
Here’s to ticking off another day! 🙂
Are you my twin? Your Saturday night sounds exactly like mine, but you are 3 days ahead of me! Yay! Keep at it, because I’m going to be checking in on here and looking for for what’s ahead of me. You got this! Think day by day rather than ‘forever’. That’s what keeps me going!
Being a non drinker requires continued work. Please don’t stop considering all your options for recovery because you had one good night.
I do want you to find the freedom of sobriety Annie. Part of that is recognition of how bad things were, and could be again.
Keep taking care of you. Don’t drink. Find support.
Anne
You will know when you can remove the question mark from “Am I a non-drinker?” and say “I am a non-drinker.” You may not always believe yourself when you say it, but you have to say it, and keep saying it. I am a non-drinker, and it didn’t become magically easy when I started saying that to myself and others. I am a non-drinker by choice, and I have chosen it every day for the last year and a half. You are at war with your addiction. Don’t let a temporary cease-fire lull you into a false sense that the war is over and that the enemy has given up and gone home. It’s never really over, but it does get easier with repetition and you can regain control over your life. Those moments of choice, where we are staring at that bottle, or contemplating a glass of wine…those moments are scary and perilous, but they are also moments of our greatest potential for growth and healing. The next time you think about having a drink, think of that choice as an opportunity. A sacred and precious opportunity to choose yourself over that glass of poison. Do that over and over, and I promise, it becomes easier and easier.
Well done, I have recently started reading your blog and a few others. I’m on my day 10 and it really helps reading other peoples experiences so you kmow you’re not alone. It seems we both survived our Saturday nights. Keep posting x
Congrats on day 9, Annie! Regarding the “click”: I sometimes think that when people say, “something clicked,” they just mean, “I don’t know. I kept trying super hard to do all the right things and I was able to do them and I can’t really explain why it worked for me this time when it didn’t before.” I don’t think there’s any actual click or any one change that’s recognizable at the time, but over time it all gets so much easier! Really happy you’re doing so well! xo
Annie I have just been reading more of your blog, day 9 is a massive achievement, really well done!! Xx