I often walk the dog with a lovely friend. But this friend is a trigger: she doesn’t drink much herself, but her house has tempting bottles of interesting-looking alcohol on display, and she often has fun parties and dinners. I was having coffee in her house this morning, and couldn’t take my eyes off those bottles. And then I felt an immense sadness, and wished I could drink.
I walked back through the sun, and now I’m at home. Day 11 but I don’t feel upbeat, I feel a bit miserable.
6 thoughts on “Day 11 doubts”
I’m in no position to give advice from my position on the nursery slopes but one thing I read helped me so I’ll share. It’s from Belle, I think maybe one of her audios “No one wants to give up booze. No one. Just give it 100 days and then see how you feel.” Also there’s Sober Mummy’s wonderful post on the obstacle course.
11 days is fantastic. You should be proud of yourself.
Sending hugs X
I’ve been there and felt that many a time with my fresh starts. Watching a bottle of my favorite Camus wine being opened and not allowing myself to touch it. It’s one to worst feelings you think your imposing on yourself and forcing a smile through it all while inside all you’re doing is white knuckling the ride and can of Diet Coke in your hand while you watch the clock move slowly and not trying to crush the can. I’ve felt the sadness and had it turn to guilt, fear, frustration. The hardest part is I started over so I’m on day 3 for what feels like the millionth time. All we can do is hang in there and hope it passes. Stephanie.
It’s ok to be sad, even miserable. I definitely mourned the loss of my alcohol and my drinking.
But it was time to let it go. It was killing me. And now it seems crazy that I clung on so tightly to the one thing that was hurting me the most.
Stay sober. Feel sad. Cry. Then wake up tomorrow and feel awesome and realize you are on the right path.
Exactly right. I was going to comment, but you’ve said exactly what I wanted to convey.
I also liked Rachel Blacks take on this which was basically telling herself her old habits (and the wine) would always still be there if she wanted to go back to them… but to first commit to short term bits of time, like the 100 days above. If you have not read the Rachel Black book (sorry maybe you have, I haven’t gone thru ALL your old posts…yet!) it’s really wonderful and has the perspective of a 40 something wife/mother that really spoke to me
I agree with Anne that it’s totally ok to feel sad. I feel sad too and know that I have a lot of sadness coming up once this initial thrill of quitting wears off. You are so brave and strong. Of course you’d feel this way after looking at those bottles and seeing a friend who seems to have it together with drinking.