Thank you all for your encouraging words, and I’m sorry I haven’t replied to them individually.

So, I went to the counsellor. At last, I stopped procrastinating, cancelling, and generally avoiding my life, and I went. I saw him for a few sessions last year, so he was familiar to me, but it was in a different place, nicer actually, less scary. I had first seen him at the Priory, which is a formidable addiction centre in the UK (and I know it has a very good recovery success rate, but it was still frightening to be in a rehab place); today we were in a counselling centre. The person I saw is an addiction counsellor – he’s been sober for many years, and he understands the struggle.

I will go every week if I can – we made a plan and those appointments are in place. Now I have to make sure my ‘healthy adult’ voice doesn’t get sabotaged by my extremely strong and persuasive ‘coping soother’ voice (aka the addiction voice).

It was good to talk to someone other than myself.

Let’s see what happens next. Day 2 today.

19 thoughts on “Talk”

  1. Yay, Annie! You make such an effort to be encouraging for the rest of us. Even us newbies to this online universe! We’re all thinking about you!

  2. Annie, it’s a step toward taking care of yourself, yay! All of this wears you down…self-care is so vital and important please take care of you so you can heal. I’m rooting for you.

  3. That’s great! I’m no expert, but I believe the fear you talked of in a previous post is a fear we all have. A fear of not drinking. I think the only way to overcome this fear is to stop drinking, one day at a time. The fear will never leave us if we continue to drink, because we will always know we need stop. We are in a cycle of hating drinking and hating the thought of life without drinking. Once we are no longer addicted to alcohol, we won’t fear not having it, we will be glad it’s gone from our lives. I read so many blogs of people saying the fear of never drinking again, gets replaced by the fear of losing their sobriety. I’m yet to get to that stage, but I’m sure it will come.

    Try to focus on today only, or getting to your next counselling appointment without a drink. You don’t need the overwhelm of thinking further down the line than that. Can’t wait to hear about day 3!

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