Thank you all for your encouraging words, and I’m sorry I haven’t replied to them individually.
So, I went to the counsellor. At last, I stopped procrastinating, cancelling, and generally avoiding my life, and I went. I saw him for a few sessions last year, so he was familiar to me, but it was in a different place, nicer actually, less scary. I had first seen him at the Priory, which is a formidable addiction centre in the UK (and I know it has a very good recovery success rate, but it was still frightening to be in a rehab place); today we were in a counselling centre. The person I saw is an addiction counsellor – he’s been sober for many years, and he understands the struggle.
I will go every week if I can – we made a plan and those appointments are in place. Now I have to make sure my ‘healthy adult’ voice doesn’t get sabotaged by my extremely strong and persuasive ‘coping soother’ voice (aka the addiction voice).
It was good to talk to someone other than myself.
Let’s see what happens next. Day 2 today.
A Dappled Path 
Well done, Annie!
Congratulations Annie, you did it! I am very proud of you. Baby steps.
Good job Annie. You are taking steps.
Good job! One positive step at a time !
Yey well done Annie!! X
Brilliant news! I’m so pleased you have done this for yourself. x
Yey Annie! SO proud of you for going! Jumping for joy for you over here!
Awesome! That’s just what you need to succeed, trying something different. X
So proud of you! I was so terrified of going to a counselor, I decided I had to quit without one. Good for you.
Way to go Annie!!! xo
Nicely done Annie! Good for you – literally. Love to you xx.
Yay, Annie! You make such an effort to be encouraging for the rest of us. Even us newbies to this online universe! We’re all thinking about you!
That’s awesome news! Good for you xxx
Well done Annie. I am so proud of you. Keep going, you can do this. A x
Dear Annie, you CAN….your counsellor sounds great, it’s a bumpy ride, but the view is worth it. X
Morning Annie! Hope you woke up feeling positive and able to grit your teeth and get through today sober. You know you can do it, X
Annie, it’s a step toward taking care of yourself, yay! All of this wears you down…self-care is so vital and important please take care of you so you can heal. I’m rooting for you.
Jenn
That’s great! I’m no expert, but I believe the fear you talked of in a previous post is a fear we all have. A fear of not drinking. I think the only way to overcome this fear is to stop drinking, one day at a time. The fear will never leave us if we continue to drink, because we will always know we need stop. We are in a cycle of hating drinking and hating the thought of life without drinking. Once we are no longer addicted to alcohol, we won’t fear not having it, we will be glad it’s gone from our lives. I read so many blogs of people saying the fear of never drinking again, gets replaced by the fear of losing their sobriety. I’m yet to get to that stage, but I’m sure it will come.
Try to focus on today only, or getting to your next counselling appointment without a drink. You don’t need the overwhelm of thinking further down the line than that. Can’t wait to hear about day 3!
High five Annie! It sounds like a great start. xxx