I’m going quiet for a little while. I’ve been going round in circles for weeks now, and my head feels full of stuffed up stuff. I’m not closing the blog. My plan is not to drink, and to get some sober days strung together before writing again, so that I gain some clarity and try and get out of the muddle I’m in.
A Dappled Path 
Hi Annie. I hope you figure out what you need to do. I’ll be thinking of you. Best of Luck x x
I just got a great book from Belle Robertson. “Tired of thinking about drinking”. I think you would glean from it on your journey to becoming sober. xo
I will be thinking good thoughts for you too and agree that Belle’s book is full of useful info. Hugs.
I think that’s a good plan xx
Dig deep. We’re all with you in spirit. XXX
Good luck Annie. It’s such a rotten affliction but you can do it and the downward spiral you’ve been experiencing is because you are getting more determined. I hate AA but that’s me, if it helps you I hope you can get all you can from it. x
Sending hugs your way. Change your mind and post if you need to.
It’s a good plan Annie. Don’t drink. Give yourself a BREAK. The muddle will unravel xx.
Wishing you all the best Annie. I hope you find some clarity and get out of your muddle. You can do this. I am here if you need me. A x
I’ve been thinking about you all day, Anne. I hope you spend some time day dreaming about what your life is going to be like without alcohol. Get excited about it. Sobriety is exciting, it’s a new life in which you can do anything you want.
You will make progress, Annie. I really feel sure about this after following your blog daily for awhile. I admire your efforts. Life is hard and we have to keep going, doing the best we can. We just keep trying to learn from our mistakes. Please take care of yourself. Your story encourages me in my struggles, alcohol related and in other categories. I do OK, but nothing is ever easy.
Praying for you Annie. It’s good you are trying something different. God bless. Noddy x
Good luck Annie! Looking forward to hearing good things from you.
Sending you massive hugs Annie. Do whatever you have to do and we’ll see you on the otherside.
This too will pass.
Annie, perhaps you are looking too far ahead, trying to bite off more than you can chew. Even if you start off by having one less day a week that you drink, that is better than nothing. Then when you get good at that try for two days every week. Concentrate on the positives rather than the failures. You are getting discouraged because you are getting to day three then falling off the wagon. You should be happy…. Three days without a drink! But instead you are only seeing the fail. Not everyone can quit cold turkey, some need larger steps before reaching that point. When you look back over a month are you seeing the 10 days you didn’t drink or the 20 days you did….. If you are only seeing the 20 days you drank you are robbing yourself of the victory of the 10 days you didn’t x
I am reading what the 20 days of drinking is doing to Annie. Alcohol addiction is progressive and we can see it in her. This has been going on for years. The longer you drink, the greater your tolerance… things escalate they don’t stay the same and sometimes the speed of escalation is very rapid… meanwhile your liver, pancreas, as well as just about every body system is deteriorating, chances of breast cancer and other types of cancer increases the more you drink.. Each time your body has to reset, it gets harder including the withdrawals both physical and mental. The sooner you quit completely, the better.
Annie, I really believe you need to seek professional help and be in a facility where you will have no access to alcohol (no ordering wine online, or asking your husband etc.) at least for 60-90 days and I think this will give you more clarity, something that you are seeking. Don’t delay, with each drink you pay. We all know you tried, it’s now time for someone else to try to help you.
with hope
Yes, I get where you are coming from.
Looking forward to hearing from you soon. Just keep going. One second, one minute, one hour, one day at a time. The more space you get between you and that last hangover, the less you’ll want to go back there. Fill that time with love and laughter and joy and quiet determination. I absolutely know you can do this.
Something else, there are medications you can take to help. I personally know of someone who took Antabuse and successfully managed to quit drinking, two years now! But it is a horrible med and can make you seriously unwell if you do drink whilst on it. For him the fear of that was enough to work, I don’t know but it’s worth thinking about maybe? There are other mess that work in different ways, a doctor could tell you more. Rehab is not readily or easily available here unless you have excellent private health cover, not sure if it the same for you.
Wise plan. If you need any suggestions or guidance, I’ve been at this thing for 8 plus years. I’d be happy to talk more about it. -Mark
There is no rational argument for you to have a drink. Don’t do it!!! Go see your GP.
Good luck and my thoughts are with you.
Justonemore
Wishing you Well. Those of us who have followed you for a long time know that you’ve gone quiet before and used the time to drink without sanction or accountability. I hope this isn’t the case this time but your past Is still your present. Please seek the help your friends and followers are begging you to seek. Your alcoholism will one day pass either with you or without you. Either you can choose to take the time needed to heal or alcohol will take you with time. Your choice, I hope in your quiet time you prevail over your alcoholism. Winning is very possible but there is a finite period of time to battle.