Well, I said I wouldn’t write until I had a run of sober days, but that hasn’t happened, and I felt a need to write here. I need your help. Tonight is the night of the Ball, a giant party which I am partly helping with. When I went to the same event 2 years ago, I didn’t drink, so I know it’s possible. I want this to be my very last, very best day one.
My week up to this point has been strange, as I wend my way to a sober life. On the way to orchestra on Thursday evening, I saw someone on the train who I recognised from AA – I said nothing. Just a coincidence. But then, half an hour or so later, walking along the street in the middle of London, nearly at my rehearsal, I saw someone else from AA. The meetings I go to are nowhere near London. It was completely bizarre; a sign.
I will take my phone with me tonight and check in often. I am on my knees, praying for help, determined to get past this terrible cycle of addiction and despair.