Getting rid of it

This morning, I asked my husband to get rid of all the booze in the house. As I write, he is putting it all in a box and taking it away, I don’t know or care where. I am sick of it and don’t want it anywhere near me.

I feel that I am at the start of a brilliant new day. It really begins today. I am excited.

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22 thoughts on “Getting rid of it”

  1. Annie – this is a bit long but it is from Sober Identity and is just so relevant for the early days. Sorry for the long post!

    1. Stopping and staying stopping drinking sucks, is hard work, totally un-enjoyable AND we don’t drink anyway.
    2. Do not give yourself excuses to drink. Stop having a conversation about drinking or not. Check it off the “to do list” first thing in the morning and be done with it. You are your own enemy when you engage in dialogue that is destined for failure. The subconscious mind it too powerful to be reckoned with. You are no match for it. It will win every time. It will try and get you alone and get you to drink. That is its job. Our subconscious mind is built for survival. It is not interested in the right or wrong of what we are doing. It is simply trying to keep you alive. For an alcoholic like me and you that means, “DRINK today or die of the pain.” 3. Do not, I repeat, do not try and manage this alone.
    The only thing you need to do today to stay sober is not drink. You are the only one that can do this. No one can accomplish this feat for you. It has to come 100% from within you.
    4. Don’t bark at yourself and don’t bark at others … walk away, count to ten, scream in a pillow, journal, exercise. Stop taking out your sober anger on people who love you. You’re destroying things you may not be able to fix.
    5. Be kinder to self. Beating up self over past mistakes is futile and it reinforces the subconscious position of “drinking to survive in this big, bad, difficult, unfair, unsafe, unloving world.”
    6. Identify one thing that brings you pure joy today and do it. No excuses! If you can’t find one then you are to journal about what you think might bring you joy. When you are finished journaling, ask yourself why you do not do this for yourself.
    7. Write, write, write, this is the way of recovery! Until you dig in, feel it, see it, experience it … “IT” is not going away. It will be there to haunt you every time you quit drinking … for the rest of your life.
    8. I know this is not the life you want. You told me through tears as you sat in my office.
    9. Stop saying how much you miss drinking. You abhor drinking. It brings you only misery. You hate drinking.
    10. You don’t get the joys of eight years sober, you get the joys of eight days sober. Stop being miserable over stuff you haven’t earned. We earn peace of mind because we have learned to receive and act in accordance with peace.
    11. Ask someone with zero sober days if eight days would be great. They would love to be where you now stand. Stop acting like it is no big deal.
    12. You CAN do this, so get your ass in gear.
    We love you. Feel free to love yourself too. We are not our mistakes.

    1. Very helpful advice for me a newbie to sobriety..Thank you Kelly! Annie a quote from Elle Macpherson the super model who is now 52 and quit alcohol at age 40. “When you are young, beauty and youth go hand in hand. But as you age, wellness and beauty go hand in hand.” 🙂

  2. Good step. Now go to a meeting and ask for help. Or call the addiction centre and go see them.
    Excitement and novelty wears off fast and that’s when you seem to change your minds about your addiction.

    Behind you all the way! Love
    Anne

  3. Wise as always, Ann. And exciting new start is great. Get ridding of the booze in the house is great — and smart. But not every, or even most, moments of early sobriety or going to be exciting or fun in anyway. Getting through those is the key to the kingdom. And Ann is exactly right — most of us need outside help, for me AA, for those darker times.

  4. Good! Immediate temptation removed. Although we can be extremely calculating in getting round these things so watch out for that lol! Stay excited but know you have a very tough few weeks ahead. But you’re up for it now! Remember you’re giving yourself and your family a great gift. Nothing worth having is easy and the others are right in saying get all the professional help and support you can get. Have a lovely evening and I’ll check in tomorrow to see how you are. XXXX

  5. I’ve followed you for a while and I think the most valuable advice here – for you – is from Kelly. “Stop having a conversation about drinking or not. Check it off the “to do list.” That applies both literally and figuratively in your case. If today is anything like any of the days in the last year you will maybe not drink today but by tomorrow or the next day you’ll be talking to your husband about drinking that night and then you’ll be doing it. That’s your pattern. The way to break the pattern is to not start the conversation. Don’t start the conversation with yourself and don’t start it with him. That’s all it takes, it’s so simple. just “check” and move on to the next thought or next topic of conversation. Don’t even stop on a drinking related topic. That’s not welcome in your life. If you don’t truly want to quit that is another matter and if, when you are hard core honest with yourself, you find you want to drink because you don’t believe you need to quit then you’ll find yourself back on the same path you’ve been on for a while no matter what you tell us or your husband or your sober friends or anyone else. You want to drink, you do drink, you regret it, but you live with it because drinking is worth it. I suspect that belief is still stuck somewhere in your head. So instead of torturing yourself, be honest with yourself. And then, once the answer is truly that you want to stop, then consider the conversation over. You don’t need to write and talk and think and overthink and analyze etc. for that conversation to be over. Start a NEW conversation. Write and talk and analyze things that are worth your time. And walk into the light and enjoy it. You deserve some peace.

  6. Agree with others about stopping the conversation about drinking.
    I heard someone say recently on how they know not drinking has always been the right choice.. ‘Not once since I quit drinking did I ever wake up and think,’man I wished I drank last night.’
    Good luck.

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