Today

I am so weary of my attempts to stop drinking. But I am not giving up the struggle; I am determined to keep trying.

I feel physically exhausted. I look down at myself, and am sad to see this person thrashing around in the dark.

I am trying to keep it in the day. Looking beyond that has meant certain failure in the past few weeks. It has got to the stage where I feel better when I do drink, and that worries me a lot.

No one really knows. I think I’m doing a good job of hiding it, and on the outside, I think I look competent and cheerful. But you know; you all know what is happening.

I begin again today.