I have been wandering around in the dark for so long, I needed to do something about it. I have asked someone to be my sponsor! She and I are meeting this week, and in the meantime she has given me some small, simple but crucial tasks to do. I feel a huge sense of excitiement that I may – just may – be able to find my way out at last. The main thing is that I know I need help. I thought I could do it on my own, but I kept finding myself back at the start; and increasingly, I was even further back than the start.
It is incredible to me how certain I was that I had this thing under control. Even when I saw that I could barely do one whole day sober, I was still convinced that I would somehow be able to reach moderation nirvana. I would sit drinking wine, reading books about sobriety, and push away the knowledge that I was damaging my mind and my body.
Well, it’s a new start for me.