My second day, and I have aches in my shoulder and back; I feel generally wrung out. But I am so glad I’ve now got a sponsor. She contacts me several times a day, and I feel as though I can’t slip away and retreat, which is good. I’ve been hiding for such a long time, trying to succeed but giving up within a day or two. Now, when I feel like running away, I have to pick up the phone and ring her.
It was strange how it happened. I had been in touch with this lady off and on for several months – she would send me texts every now and then, and didn’t forget about me – but I hadn’t thought about asking her to help me more than that. Then suddenly, this weekend, up to my neck in misery and wine, I reached for my phone and asked her for help.
These early days are so hard; and I’ve been here so many times before. I feel tired, and very very low.