Thank you for your kind comments yesterday. I must admit, I am crawling along rather, feeling pretty rubbish. But what did I expect? I had a severe wobble yesterday afternoon – the fear is palpable. It’s ridiculous. I remember Sober Mummy once saying to me, ‘What are you afraid of?’ And I can’t really say; I don’t know exactly. I guess, a fear of living in a different way, of not being able to do what I want, of stopping myself picking up a glass. It’s stupid, I know. Ultimately, I want to find a new freedom where I don’t think in this way. But meanwhile, it is a painful, slow process. It hurts me to look back at this blog, and to see the hope diminish month by month.
The good thing is that I am still in touch with my sponsor every day, and not drinking, and writing here, and inching my way through.
And I hope the aches will pass.