Thank you for your kind comments yesterday. I must admit, I am crawling along rather, feeling pretty rubbish. But what did I expect? I had a severe wobble yesterday afternoon – the fear is palpable. It’s ridiculous. I remember Sober Mummy once saying to me, ‘What are you afraid of?’ And I can’t really say; I don’t know exactly. I guess, a fear of living in a different way, of not being able to do what I want, of stopping myself picking up a glass. It’s stupid, I know. Ultimately, I want to find a new freedom where I don’t think in this way. But meanwhile, it is a painful, slow process. It hurts me to look back at this blog, and to see the hope diminish month by month.
The good thing is that I am still in touch with my sponsor every day, and not drinking, and writing here, and inching my way through.
And I hope the aches will pass.
7 thoughts on “Still aching”
Fear of a new life, without drinking affects all of us. It’s a new, unknown world. And, we wonder, how will we get by?? But you will find – you will! – that just living, pleasant living without self disgust, replaces the fear. For now, just focus on the next give minutes. It is DO able.
Fear is temporary, it will pass. Hang on in there.Don’t think about the big picture, just get home and get to bed without having had a drink. Small steps. Listen to the Bubble Hour, I remember you used to follow it in the past. Call your sponsor and ask for help if you need it. You can do this. We are with you.
I think we can all relate to that fear! But I’m sure you hear mostly positives from people who have got through it. There’s no way I want to be trapped in the booze maze ever again!
The aches will pass, it will get better even if it doesn’t always get easier, just hang in there one minute at a time.
Don’t look back Annie, only forward. Each hour you are getting closer to your new and fabulous life. Keep going you are stronger than you realise. Hugs xx
Inches are leaps and bounds further forward than standing still or going backwards. Thinking of you, Annie.* I love hearing what you’re Doing. -HM.
You are doing this!!! I am so proud of you and yes, we are all scared! Keep trudging on, it (so everyone I’ve ever heard from, keeps saying it gets better and is wonderful)! Love you!