Monday afternoon, and I’m back on Day One again. But I had a good chat with my wise, lovely sponsor this morning, and she feels that despite my set-backs, the desire to stop drinking is there, and I need to believe in that.
Part of my problem is that as soon as I encounter any blips in my sober attempts, I immediately give up trying, and go crashing back to the start. This can delay my next attempt by many days or weeks. It is never going to be perfect, and while this troubles and upsets me, I need to accept it, and keep searching.
So, onwards I go.
A Dappled Path 
I am reading Elizabeth Vargas’ memoir about drinking as a newscaster, and just last night I read this quote from one of her counselors: “Why do you keep doing the hard part over and over again?” What she was saying was that quitting is BY FAR the hardest part. It is so much easier later on. For me, it has become almost effortless in six months. Having said that, I did the hard part literally hundreds of times. Don’t give up. Many people have a lot of day one’s before they allow the process of healing to unfold. ; )
My heart goes out to you.