As I said in my last post, I have signed up for Dry January, but I am starting my new sober plan today, a couple of days early. There’s never a good time to start, it has to be now. And I feel so toxic and dreary, I can’t wait for January 1st.
I have been picking fights with my husband, every evening after drinking. He says I am absolutely not fun to be with, and that any perception of myself as the life and soul of the party is an illusion. This argumentative streak has been creeping up on me, and has become a feature of the toxic me, the one I want to be rid of.
I have asked my husband to take a picture of me this morning, so that I can compare it to me at the end of January, a milestone moment if I get that far; no, not ‘if’, ‘when’ I get that far.
So, here goes. New Annie plan starts now, today. I feel excited; I feel ready. I have stocked up on alcohol-free drinks (already selling out in the supermarket as the nation prepares for January), put a good evening plan in place (no going out, no socials at all, nice food etc), and am trying not to get ahead of myself in the Let’s Reinvent My Whole Mind and Body Plan which involves my losing a stone and becoming super kind and patient and a brilliant sober person overnight. I’ve been here before, and I know the euphoria can wear off pretty quickly.