Preparation

Well, I didn’t make it through yesterday, and I feel hopeless this morning, but I am absolutely determined to succeed with Dry January and will prepare for that today.

This has to be my fresh start; this has to be the year in which I master this and get a new, vibrant life, free from guilt and obsession.

On the train home yesterday, I read everyone’s comments and was so grateful. But back in the house, all my old excuses crushed my resolve. Yes, I’d been assailed by alcohol in London, but I simply must get past this, I must get through these early moments. I was directed to read Groundhog’s recent post, and found that very helpful, as well as everyone else’s advice.  Now I need to dig deep and do it for myself.

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12 thoughts on “Preparation”

  1. From what I am learning in order to change a habit both your words and your actions must be in agreement. Positive confessions are great but without action they do not work. You need to create a new habit in order to break the old. It takes time, it isn’t an easy fix. Your words need to change and your actions need to back those words up. You won’t lose weight just by saying “I need to lose weight” you have to follow through with a plan of healthy eating. What could you do to change things? Is there a hobby you have wanted to embrace, exercise, a cooking class, art group…. anything that distracts your mind from alcohol.

    1. Hi peacefullysober I’m back too and am in exactly the same position as Annie, I drank yesterday after one day sober. Us three started this journey at the same time as each other… we’ve been through so much. Shall we all do this together starting tomorrow? I’m doing Dry January too and know it’s a good start, just need to extend it by two months.

      Annie, we’re all here for you… and in my case, in the same position.

      Hugs

  2. .Annie think about all the reasons you want to quit drinking …that is Annie. All those excuses to drink that pop into your head that is alcohol. Staying sober is Annie doing everything she can to not drink! .Every other “I want, or what if, or i miss that feeling, or just one glass/moderation…that is not Annie it is alcohol. Good luck!

  3. Hi Annie. Do you think you might be able to resist the urge to close the blog when things aren’t going well. If it’s closed there is no way of posting to support you. Tori xxx

  4. Sorry you are in that cycle of drinking. It’s like horror movies where a driver leaves town, goes for a distance, and starts to see familiar signs, realizes she’s stuck in the same place, and no matter how hard she pushes the gas pedal she keeps arriving back at the place she started. May you be free from this suffering soon, and get on track to a sober life. The only thing I know is that recovery is possible for you, there is no doubt. May you be safe, happy and at peace.

  5. Dear Annie, you know, of course, that I fervently hope this is the day one that sticks. I’ve been hoping for two years,since I first started following your blog. I do, though, want to quibble with your title — “Preparation.” First of all, you of all people don’t need to make any more preparations to get sober. You’ve been preparing for year. You are the most prepared drunk-hoping-to-get-sober I know.

    So unless this “preparation” involves NOT drinking tonight, New Years Eve, it is meaningless in terms of doing anything that forwards you sobriety.

    You also know, because I’ve said it publicly and privately to you a million times before, you cannot get sober in the future. You cannot stop drinking in the future. The only time you can stop drinking (or take any action) is right now, the present. You must see the danger (or at very least the irony) of pouring yourself a glass of bubbly to toast your future sobriety.

    And maybe you are sipping herbal tea and avoiding the big parties tonight, if so, brava! If not, then here’s my message to you –and to anyone else reading or responding here who is “preparing” to stop drinking tomorrow (I’m not talking to those doing Dry January to drop some weight after the holiday excess.I’m talking to active alcoholics hoping to use Dry January to kick start a life of sobriety) — STOP NOW. Even if you’ve already pre-gamed a bit or had a couple of glasses of wine with dinner. End it now. Leave the party, if you’re already there. Hide in the bathroom and feel sorry for yourself if you can’t leave. Go to bed early if you’re home.

    The only way to stop drinking is to stop drinking. It will never be the right time (or it will always be, take your pick). It will never be easy. Putting it off until tomorrow is NOT preparation for a life a sobriety. It is preparation for a life making excuses for your continued, destructive drunken behavior.

    End it now. It will be the hardest and best thing you ever do. And Happy New Year.

  6. I hate to sound like a broken record, but look into inpatient treatment.
    I teach yoga at one and I see the relief and safety people find removing themselves from their lives to focus on sobriety.

    Please think hard about this. Your physical and emotional health seems at risk.

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