Saturday

Back to square one. But I am starting again today, and I am going to keep trying until I succeed.

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19 thoughts on “Saturday”

  1. Hi Annie, well done for keeping trying. Can I ask why you think you slipped? You had a few days under your belt, what made you decide it was ok to drink ? If you can identify the part that self sabotages – (whether its because you think you CANT achieve sobriety, or because deep down you are scared to do so) then I think you might be able to resist the sabotaging part. Best Lily x

    1. I’m not sure: it often seems to be a kind of panic, as I look ahead and think, ‘I can’t do it. I may as well stop trying, and think about something else.’ That sounds mad, I know. Annie x

  2. Hi Annie, glad you’re back. As I said before, it’s a brave thing to expose yourself via a blog – I’m guessing it means that you feel an extra burden for ‘letting down’ the people who follow you if you have a blip. If I had kept diaries, there would be ten years’ worth of starting and stopping. In a way, I think it might have shortened the process to actually publish my thoughts online as maybe – perhaps like you – it would mean that the negatives of drinking (including the guilt and shame) so far outweighed the (perceived) positives that maybe I would have quit sooner?

    As it is, I can only echo others: try to find a diversion; something else to do with your hands maybe? I took up sewing (having not used a needle since being useless at needlework in my schooldays) – maybe a simple cross-stitch kit? It means both hands are occupied and that, combined with the concentration required, really works for me, especially in the evenings.

    So keep going, don’t go away, you’ll do it. Patti x…

  3. Go back a read the past 29 months posts. Go back to January 2015 and compare it with January 2016 and now Janury 2017. See the difference in your writing. You need to go back and see how long you have been trying and really notice the change in you in the last 2years and 5 months. It’s hard to compare one alcoholic to another ie me to you or you to me but I know I saw that I was in BIG trouble and it was only getting worse every time I stopped and started again. Several others have commented that you may need more help than doing this by yourself, others have commented you need rehab.
    QUESTION- Do you think/realise you are struggling with a serious drink problem or do you think you drink a little bit too much and you should really give up? They are two very different mindsets, it’s not clear how much of a problem YOU think you have. I think it might help you to blog about where you think you are with your drinking and then you can get support from other bloggers about where you are in your head. Between everyone here there are bound to be people who had similar circumstances.
    Did your husband drink? What did you say to him about quitting Dry January? Does he know?

  4. The definition of madness is to keep doing the same thing over and over and to expect a different result. What do you want to do differently?? (And do you really, really want it??) keep blogging, that’s a start. xx

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