I found today much harder than the previous days this year so far. I seemed to think about drinking much more. Trying to work out the triggers, I couldn’t really detect a pattern; it was just more frequent. Back home now after work, I am going to sit quietly – I seem to be doing a lot of that at the moment. I’ve got more work to do, but I don’t think that will help my current state of mind.
I imagine I might feel like this for some time, many weeks even. I won’t look ahead.
A Dappled Path 
We wouldn’t be here if it was easy Annie. What is keeping me going is the promise of it getting easier that so, so many successful sober people assure me is true. I believe them. I want to believe them. There are so many people on here who say that it gets better. And I want to stay sober long enough to see for myself.
Hang on in there Annie x
You are right. Just focus on today. Don’t drink. Go to a meeting. Maybe you will hear something that will help you.
Or hide in the bath or go to bed.
Have you looked into additional support?
Anne
Of course your mind is racing. My head was spinning and all I could obsess about was the fact that “I couldn’t drink anymore”. It’s like
Mourning the death of a friend and wondering how you’re going to go on without them. A lot of crazy thoughts and feelings start to surface once we stop anethetizing our brain. I agree with Ainsobriety, a meeting could definitely help. To be able to verbalize your thoughts in a room full of people who “get it” can be so cathartic. (Take it from someone who didn’t want to go to AA). Just keep plowing through.
Same here Annie, my mind has been racing all day. I am going out to a late evening yoga group so it stops me thinking. Plus i have to drive quite a way yo get there so will slump in bed when i get home. For me, staying out in the evening at classes that are good for me is fhe best escape. Here too on day 9… xx
Keep going Annie xx
We’re all here for you, Annie – keep pushing through those cravings!
In January 2016, I didn’t imagine a day would come when I wasn’t obsessing about drinking… But it does come. It will for you. And then – however weird a notion this seems to you today – you’ll realise that your life is so much better because you’ve got all that time that you used to spend thinking about drinking to do other things with! Believe in yourself, Annie xx
That need/the constant thoughts and nagging, it isn’t strange that the volume turns up right about now. Think of it as a toddler who starta whining, quitely at first, but when ignored that kid will start screaming her lungs out. Same here. But keep ignoring this peticular temper tantrum because it will subside. We’re all here, cheering for YOU.
Annie Ive been following your blog for years and also sober mummy. I am more than two years in now and it is so so worth it. I know you want this time to be different so make it happen. Do something different. We all want you to succeed xxx
Yes, I think we are going to have racing brains for a little while yet Annie. But I’ve had some long periods Af and I know that in a while it gets easier and in another while easier again. But we are here today, not drinking and that is all that matters xxx
There are days when its hard, but they do get less frequent. Just focus on right now. Don’t allow yourself to dwell on drinking, do something – anything, to distract yourself. Go to a meeting if you can. … keep plodding on xx
Focus on the moment. Don’t think ahead or long term it’s too scary at your stage. It gets easier. One day you’ll realise you’ve not thought about drinking at all. And just think about how much you’ll hate yourself tomorrow if you drink today. Play it forward as they say…. worked for me x