On the train

Things have felt a bit easier today. Indeed, I feel as though I’m getting in the groove a little. It is now more normal to come home and make myself an alcohol-free drink in the evening – I always have one – and then I read, or practise the piano, or do this and that round the house so as not to dwell. Once I’m cooking supper, I think I am past the craving and the rest of the evening is ok.

I am watching terrible films (eg. sharks/survival) and I have not been able to sleep well. Last night, I thought the house was on fire – I was convinced I could see and smell smoke, and I saw flashing lights. I would say my sleep has got worse over the past few days.

On my way to my orchestra rehearsal now, and the man opposite me on the train has a large pint of beer in a plastic cup. I would not want to be drinking this – a good sign? Day 11 today.

6 thoughts on “On the train”

  1. Keep going! I also feel that “pull” during dinner prep–my favorite time to have a cocktail! Once dinner is on the table or if it’s around 7-730 the craving passes. This is hard work!

  2. Annie, I’m really impressed with the sobriety (for lack of a better word) with which you’re pursing sobriety this time round. I don’t hear any of the drama and self-aggrandizement that I think led to your failures in the past. You seem to be on a serious, one-day-at-a-time effort, not looking too far forward or too far back, doing what you need to do to not drink today. It’s not nearly as compelling reading as the past flame outs, but this is exactly how it’s done. I’m really proud of you.

  3. Yes beer in a plastic cup sloshing all over the place on a train is not my idea of a tempting drink either! Yuck! I struggled today with tax return, paperwork, my daughter almost killing our cat and going for milk at the local shop where they sell my favourite wine. The saying from yesterday has really stuck with me though – although I craved a drink to cope with all of this, in reality wine would have made the bad situation a lot worse and instead of sitting here now relatively calmly I would be angry at the world. Annie your daily posts, and the comments are keeping me going – thank you xx

  4. I had the exact same issue, dinner-making time was when the pull was strongest. But it subsides over time, and now I don’t even think about it. And just wait: you are going to experience the most glorious sleep! Sober sleep, without alcohol-induced dehydration, is the best!

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