Keeping a record of sober days this month is really helpful for me, as are the comments. Every day, I come to the blog and write something, however brief. I have kept this blog for a long time now, and it has fluctuated over the years from confessional, to panic, to gratitude. At the moment, I see it as a kind of haven. A couple of people have commented that I sound different this time round. I think this may be my being a bit quieter this month, trying not to dwell so much on what I’m doing, but rather just trying to do it.
I have nearly finished Clare Pooley’s book. It’s so good. I’m then going to go back and read Caroline Knapp’s book. I have to do a lot of reading (poetry and fiction) for work, and I have found reading generally to be therapeutic this month. Every day, I read for ages, if I can.
I’m not going out or doing anything social (in the party sense), although I do go to work of course, and play in the orchestra, and both those things are hugely convivial. But no alcohol is involved, and I am finding a new pleasure in that. I cannot envisage going to a party though – not at the moment. And I would not set foot inside a pub.
5 thoughts on “Why the blog?”
Sounds like you’re in a good place. You’re protecting yourself. I’m doing the same right now. When I think about it, I feel a bit sad that I’m “stuck” in this routine of work/home/bed, but then I think that when I was drinking I was stuck in a routine of Hangovers/guilt/shame/self hatred/exhaustion…..
Annie, it’s good to see you blogging again! Good for you for not giving up the fight.
I find daily blogging to be the strongest of my sober supports. Not so much the content but the consistency. I hope it becomes so for you as well. 🙂
Quite right! Stay put and just try to enjoy the calmness. Clare is amazing and her blog was a life changer for me. Am loving her book and it reminds me of how hard it was at the start but also just how good it felt, and still feels, to not have all the ‘chatter’ about drinking… Will I drink tonight? How much? Etc etc. I used to hate myself so much the next day and now I don’t. Keep going….. just avoid that first drink xxxxx
Good plan. Keep at it.