Two posts in one day, but that is because I am panicking (again) and I wanted to document it, rather than hide it. I am going out tonight, and I’m not worried about that as I offered to drive (see last post); but what I am worried about are the BIG thoughts I’m having about giving up my blogging/sobriety experience and having a glass or two this weekend. Tonight I just feel SO FED UP with it all suddenly, it is almost overwhelming.
This is how I feel: aaaaaaaaarrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhh.
I am desperately pulling out all my tried and tested methods: positive thinking, distraction (I’m about to have a bath), rereading old posts, reading other people’s blogs… I have even been staring in the mirror, in a very vain way, to remind myself that my skin is definitely better since I stopped drinking, and I don’t think I’m imagining that. Not that skin is the big issue here, but I thought it might help.
I don’t want to let myself down – or my family. Or you guys. But I also don’t want to do this anymore. Oh no!