Emotional sledgehammer

Driving back from my in-laws this evening, I felt utterly whacked. So, so tired! But happy that I am nearing the end of Day 2, and I’m so pleased I got through last night alcohol free. At various points I was offered: gin, champagne and red wine. Despite my explaining at the start that I wasn’t drinking, each drink was still pushed my way, as if they hoped I was joking. And I sensed real disappointment from my brother-in-law, as I am usually a compatriot with him on the drinking front. I did feel momentarily left out when the glasses were filled with champagne, and the rose lemonade was poured into mine; I quietly commented on the pale pink colour – it’s really pretty – but no one heard me. We sat outside in the evening sun, and I knew I had to be strong as the evening progressed. Over dinner, my companions forgot about my not drinking and didn’t notice anymore.

At bedtime, I began to read ‘Blackout’, a book recommended recently by Mrs D, and I am also reading a thin book from AA called ‘Living Sober’. It has some good tips about how to manage…well…living sober. I am taking this seriously, possibly for the first time. No more dabbling; I’m diving in.

12 thoughts on “Emotional sledgehammer”

  1. For the moment you may have to be your OWN cheerleader. It might help if you adopt phrases like “Please remove the Demon Alcohol from my face.” They’ll get it eventually if you MEAN IT. And you have to mean it, they can smell fear:)

  2. Well done Annie. Only ten days behind me. We knew it was hard but most things that are worth it are. I get that experience of people being disappointed. It’s the same for me with certain people and I’m not sure if it’s because a) I am not as funny/entertaining/interesting sober, or b) It makes them feel worse about their own drinking – most people who drink a lot know that they are on borrowed time health wise!
    Either way it’s tough. We have to weigh up our peace of mind and the way we feel every day, and how present we are for others, particularly our children, which after all is the most significant part of life, even if it does mean we have to sacrifice our role of entertainer/partner in crime etc. to various others, who probably want to give up themselves deep down (especially when their Sunday is written off with a hangover). Take care. Nearly day 3 x

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