Again, thank you for your kind comments, and sorry – again – for not having replied to each one. I am in a kind of slump. It’s day 15 but it all feels really hard. The dreaded Friday evening passed without any mishap, but I didn’t put together a very good plan to make it nice; I didn’t plan any treats, and I didn’t really enjoy the evening.
I had planned to go to a meeting last week, but I had too much work on my day off and couldn’t make it. This meant I didn’t put much sober work into my week, and thoughts of drinking are still uppermost.
There are a lot of didn’ts in this post. I need to be more positive and get out of this slump, as slumps are dangerous.
A Dappled Path 
Oh Annie. Lovely to see this post and know that you got through Friday night. I struggled last night but stocked up with treats and gorged myself a bit.
Look after yourself. You are doing great 🙂 x
I need to look after myself a bit more this weekend. Last week felt precarious. Annie x
Glad you got through Friday night! Just the rest of the weekend to go! What are your plans? Hope you have some lovely treats in store as well as some coping strategies to beat off your inner booze bully? I’m having an AF lunch with some of my closest friends. Sometimes I’m unsettled afterwards and want to hit the wine. But I’ve got elderflower presse from M&S Dine In and lots of cake. I’ll be fine. Hope you get through too! X
Your words ‘unsettled afterwards’ describe exactly how I’ve been feeling in the last few days. Even going back to work made me feel unsettled, and my evenings harder to deal with without alcohol. I’m going to see if I can find that elderflower presse you mention. Annie x
Remember this is all temporary! My Mum has always said that everything in life is temporary and I think it’s a very good way of getting through hard times and enjoying the good times. As SM says we all have the field of bunnies to look forward to. The Dine In is not such a good deal without the wine, but hey ho! We’re thinking of the bigger picture. Know that the unsettled feeling, the exhaustion, the not knowing what to do with ourselves, it’s all part of the healing. While it feels awful, it’s doing us good. Big hug. I’ve had a nice lunch and now I’m going to have cake. X
Yes just go mad on the AF drinks, I’ve got quite a stock building up! I missed going for a walk the last couple of days as it was wet…I think doing something that isn’t on the to do list, just because you want to do it, works wonders. Do something just for you. Oh and lots of treats! Xx
Treats are crucial, and I’m not very good at that. Annie x
Remember there is one very important “didn’t” in the post Annie… You DIDN’T drink. Well done. xx
I guess so! Annie x
I think weekends are harder. You definately need to have something to look forward to. A nice selection of AF drinks in the fridge ready and some sweet treats on stand by. You said yourself you werent prepared for your Friday night and it made it all the harder for you. Not tonight though eh. Get lots of nice things planned. I tend to just eat my way through the weekend at the moment 🙂 And be proud of yourself – even after a crappy Friday night – you didnt drink!!!!
Weekends are hard, but today I feel better (Sunday). Annie x
Oh Annie I wish I had some magic words to help you feel better 😦 I’m sorry that you are struggling with how you are feeling. Could you make up for not treating yourself yesterday by double treating yourself today somehow? You are doing so very well at day 15! That is such a long time in my book. You deserve to feel better today! I had my first Friday yesterday and hit a sad spell just before. A slump. I got advice that I should do anything I wanted with my evening except to drink. This gave me license to eat what I wanted, have two desserts!! And watch what would make me feel good on tv instead of what my husband wanted to see. Those several treats all added up to help me to feel better. I hope you feel better soon too. You are doing something so good for yourself!
Thanks for your encouragement, Ripley. Annie x
15 days is awesome! For me, when I quit smoking and drinking (I’ve quit many times, lol, even unfollowing these blogs for a bit when I returned to drinking) I thought of it as doing something FOR me, not taking something away or quitting something I loved. For example, I love to work out, do yoga, etc, but I feel too guilty to do those things when I’m poisoning my body. After 90+ days, I’m finally noticing a sharp drop in my anxiety levels as well as better quality sleep. I’ve always struggled with anxiety. I walk during wine o’clock, read & share Facebook sobriety group posts, read blogs like yours and sobriety books. (of course, I’m not a mother nor a wife, so I have a lot of free time – not necessarily a good thing as I drank when bored…) Right now, I’m reading a book that explains how alcohol really affects us called Alcohol Explained, by William Porter, that is fascinating. Alcohol and nicotine, etc actually are what causes our anxiety, but we think the 30 minute relief we get means they are what we need to relieve our anxiety and panic attacks, etc. We remember the good times and forget the hangovers, the anxiety attacks, the things we did, etc.
You’re doing great. Only a couple months ago or less I was walking my dog, listening to The Bubble Hour, and thinking about you. Your blog has affected many – I mean, when a top sobriety blogger writes about you in her blog, that’s pretty awesome. You’re not alone, you’re very loved and cared about. Finding people you’re comfortable talking to face to face is very important. I need to do that one day. 🙂
Sorry for the ramble. I’m ADHD so it’s hard to get to the point, lol, and new at commenting 🙂
Not a ramble: just kindness. Thank you. Annie x
Find that meeting. Continue to build your support network.
Ending an addiction is hard. You are shedding numbness and suddenly everything feels off. Like a scratchy sweater.
That is your nervousness system waking back up. It has been asleep. Now you learn to feel all the feelings.
You don’t drink, so figure out what you might like to do today. Every day first need to be a party just because it’s the weekend. This is a perfect opportunity to rest and get some extra sleep.
Don’t try to make these days spectacular. It’s too much pressure and you are delicate. Treat yourself like that.
We-delight-in-the-beauty-of-the-butterfly-but-rarely-admit-the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.
Maya Angelou
That was every day doesn’t need to be a party.
Your words are so kind. Annie x
You did it, Annie. You got through a tough night. Keep doing it, day by day, and it gets easier and easier for the light to get in. xo
I love the idea of the light getting in. Annie x
Well done Annie, some really good momentum now. Don’t slump on your own for too long. Get some tunes on or listen to the radio or some other distraction. Don’t ruminate or over think the situation. If its really bad, try and down a couple of pints of water – you’ll bloat out nicely and won’t want a drink. Have a good Sunday.
Justonemore
I’m such an over-thinker! Annie x
Lots of good advice on here. Main thing is to not drink and keep finding ways to live sober.
Jenn