Opening the blog, writing, reading, then closing the blog…in recent months, this has become another cycle in my life, and one which has been really troubling me. What happens is that I write, I commit to something, and then I become overwhelmed by an irrational fear, and close the blog in a panic. It is as though the blog mirrors my anxieties.

This morning, my husband said he felt distant from me. The drink has been driving me away. The children are uncertain as to how I’m going to react to something, one minute calm, the next angry.

I found writing a list yesterday therapeutic. Now I need to be proactive.  Stopping drinking is vital, and I know that I will feel better in every area of my life. Fear and procrastination have been ruling me for years.

My poor, patient husband… he is so kind not to be walking out, leaving me to it. His love and support are things I cannot take for granted.

A day at a time, I need not to drink. I will not drink today, and I’ll report in again tomorrow.

21 thoughts on “Mania”

  1. Hi Annie, it’s good to ‘see you’ back. Trusting yourself, and your reactions is a gift that comes with sobriety I’m finding – coincidentally I wrote about that yesterday. You can do this Annie, one day, one hour at a time. I’m holding you in my thoughts and wishing you strength.

    Lily 🌷 X

  2. Annie, have you tried hypnotherapy as a means to deal with the constant cycle of drinking. I personally haven’t tried it but have been listening to some podcast on the subject. Another blogger here tried it last week and reported good success. It is hard to undo patterns of behaviour when they have been part of our life for such a long time. Hypnotherapy might proove a helpful tool in quieting the sub concious mind, the mind that rules 95% of the time and the most destructive force when it comes to breaking a habit.

    1. I’ve got a hypnotherapy CD and book which I used a while back but I haven’t actually seen a hypnotherapist. I will definitely consider it. Annie x

  3. I was so glad when your post came up this morning. It shows you are strong. You are determined and you will get there. Thinking of you today. You will not drink.
    With love and sober thoughts,
    Gemma x

  4. Don’t think about forever… just today. You can do it Annie, just today. Tomorrow will be another day x

      1. I’m so pleased to see your blog open again Annie, Sending you lots of hugs and support to help you today. You are strong enough not to drink today, I know you are 🙂 xx

  5. Dear Annie Your relationship with alcohol doesn’t sound much fun anymore. The disadvantages of drinking clearly outweigh the advantages so far as I am see. Isn’t that a great reason to leave drinking behind you and just be FREE ? Xxx

  6. Hi Annie. Great to see you back. Don’t worry about us lot. Come and go as much as you need. We’ll always be here to support you. You may need to try a new approach. 1 thing I’ve heard about is, Allen Carr does a stop drinking clinic in the UK. It’s a 1 day course, it costs about £250. Good results apparently. Google it. Noddy x

    1. I’ve got the Allen Carr book (along with a 1000 other sober books…) but I will explore a real-life course. Thanks. Annie x

  7. Annie, Great to see you back. I see that Kate (from the Sober School) has an online course starting soon – would you consider it? I think outside help would be good. I (we) cannot do this alone. x

    1. Kate is brilliant. I was part of a trial for her course. I think it’s a brilliant course, I was just hopeless. I think she’s helping many people. Her blog was one of the first I read, and I love receiving her weekly updates and emails. The advice is very helpful. Annie x

  8. So great to see another post, Annie. Yes, don’t worry about us….all we are doing is channeling good vibes in your direction. Write whatever you want!

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