Saturday night

Yesterday, I felt very close to drinking. But I didn’t. I so appreciate all the comments on my blog. The thought of you all out there helped me push through the cravings and wake up this morning grateful. It worries me, though, the strength of the feelings which shout sabotage. Today, I decided to pay more attention to these, and to do some more ‘sober work’: I listened to an old Bubble Hour podcast about books which are good in recovery, and am thinking of ordering some. And I tried to be more mindful about how I approach various problem times of day, late afternoon for example. Becoming fidgety around 5ish, I took the dog for a walk instead.

I am still finding it a bit depressing that the weekend is so quiet and free from wild cocktails. But this quietness means that I am now able to go and collect my daughter from a party at 11pm this evening; usually, I’d have tucked into a bottle of wine by now and would have persuaded my husband to have a dry night so that he could do the driving. Talking of husbands, today I told mine about my blog! He said he wondered why I’d been hovering round the computer so intensely for the past 2 weeks. Yes! 2 weeks! That’s where I’m at.

8 thoughts on “Saturday night”

  1. oh Annie, my heart is going out to you BIG TIME. I wish your struggle wasn’t so hard for you. they say 21 days is the first step in breaking a habit. you are nearly there, carry on!!!
    it really really sucks I know, but find other things to do and JUST DONT LISTEN TO THOSE THOUGHTS. TELL THEM TO GO AWAY AND IGNORE THEM!!
    my dogs are helping me tooooo. go the dogs.

  2. I’m right there with you. This quiet saturday night has been driving me crazy, but I’m making it another day. Glad you are,too.

  3. I just I got home from picking my daughter up from a party as well. truly a first since I would normally be well lit and passed out by now. two weeks is huge! congrats!! just keep taking it day by day. when I think “forever”
    I get freaked out and begin to doubt. but as Belle says, just tell yourself “not today”. works for me ๐Ÿ™‚

    bravo for telling your husband about your blog!! very brave!

  4. You are doing great. Would the bottle of wine have really made the evening more wild? Probably not.
    Mindfulness is so helpful. And the bubble hour and books are good ideas.
    I think it takes a lot more than 21 days for this. But you are doing it!


  5. Yes, the quietness is a hard thing to get used to. But I’m trying to value the calm , even though it feels so strange because the previous turmoil prompted by drinking was so hellish. X

  6. Great blog. I am in two weeks too. I love the story about putting the bottles back! Whew, that was close!

    I find that if I plan a really great treat for the ‘witching hour’ like 4- 6pm I can totally get past the feeling of struggling with Woflie. Sometimes it is some comfort food, like chicken fried steak take away, or going to take care of errands instead of going home after work. One week I made a batch of homemade soup each night after work. I actually make a list while I am at work during the day of what I want to do when I get off that day because each day I might want something different. I may not want to cook, I may want to cook specifically. It helps to make a list because at this stage it is sometimes hard to focus b/c we still feel head fog early on.

    I had a quiet Saturday too. I read From This Day Forward yesterday, by Amy Baumgardner and went to yoga, it was low key. Very good book, I recommend it. I like it b/c you hear from Amy and then her husband in alternating entries and she went thru hell.

    I am so happy each day I wake up feeling great. Keep making time for you right now! You’re getting thru the hardest part! Deliberate peace and quiet is saving my life right now. Your blog is helpful too. Thanks for doing this.
    Keep going! Hugs!

  7. Two weeks sober=congratualtions from me too! It is hard, I can’t pretend otherwise but happiness found in sobriety is so much sweeter than the numbed, blot-it-out contentment offered from a bottle. All the support in this blogging community is what’s getting me through, for sure. So here’s some of the support coming right back at ya! You’re doing great. Love from the Sober Garden xx.

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