Yesterday, I felt very close to drinking. But I didn’t. I so appreciate all the comments on my blog. The thought of you all out there helped me push through the cravings and wake up this morning grateful. It worries me, though, the strength of the feelings which shout sabotage. Today, I decided to pay more attention to these, and to do some more ‘sober work’: I listened to an old Bubble Hour podcast about books which are good in recovery, and am thinking of ordering some. And I tried to be more mindful about how I approach various problem times of day, late afternoon for example. Becoming fidgety around 5ish, I took the dog for a walk instead.
I am still finding it a bit depressing that the weekend is so quiet and free from wild cocktails. But this quietness means that I am now able to go and collect my daughter from a party at 11pm this evening; usually, I’d have tucked into a bottle of wine by now and would have persuaded my husband to have a dry night so that he could do the driving. Talking of husbands, today I told mine about my blog! He said he wondered why I’d been hovering round the computer so intensely for the past 2 weeks. Yes! 2 weeks! That’s where I’m at.