So there I was, bowling along feeling just a little bit pleased with myself that I’d achieved my 30 days and was moving slowly beyond that… and BAM! I start to have bad cravings again, as though I’m back in the first week. Yikes. My thoughts have started wandering to the idea of sinking my head into a huge glass of wine again. I think it’s this drinks party which is looming on Friday. I need to be able to resist the glass of prosecco which will be waiting for me, along with all the other glasses of prosecco, all lined up in a neat row as they are at drinks parties. It’s a parents’ event at my youngest daughter’s school, and in the past has been quite a jolly affair. If I don’t drink there, it’ll be the first time I’ve been to this party without drinking, and I’ve been for many years. So I guess it’s on my mind a bit, and I’ve been flirting with the idea of this being the moment when I ‘relax’ and drink again.
I am torn. I like my new sober life, and I think it works well, but I do still miss parts of the other life. I want it all: sober and… well, not sober, I suppose.
Sorry, I wanted to keep an upbeat note after yesterday’s post, but today I don’t feel so upbeat.