I am still here. I haven’t yet managed a sober day but I am staying here. I need help, and your advice, comments and support give me much needed strength. I read and reread the comments here. I know I need more help than the blog, but it is still very important for me to feel that you’re out there.
My AA friend contacts me almost daily. I am going to an AA meeting tomorrow.
I am ok all day, but am crumbling around 5pm. I pour everything away in the morning, then seek out more in the afternoon. Work keeps me busy; its at home that I think, ‘There’s nothing wrong with me! You’re imagining it! Think about something else!’ Then I wake at 3am, knowing that I am in trouble, and that things will never change until I change my way of thinking.
I am two people: the busy, working Annie who is efficient and positive; and the other Annie who is weak and flailing.